if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
