My friends, they love my intelligence
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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