Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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