the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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