After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
