Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
