We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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