you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
