I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
