there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
