wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
