I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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