just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
