I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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