Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
