I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
