This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
