it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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