you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
