I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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