I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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