yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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