Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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