oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
