Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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