i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
