i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
