Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Still dying that you shit outside
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
