I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
