Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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