you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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