And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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