Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
