I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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