I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
