if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
