i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
