This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
