this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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