Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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