I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
