I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I forgot how hot balto sounded
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
