Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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