I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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