Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
