Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
