There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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