addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
