There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
