If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
