i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
