lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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